love that child

I know there is much sadness in this world of ours.  It seems everywhere we look children are starving, homeless, abused, dying … and this, sometimes, can make me feel that it is almost indulgent to grieve for the suffering of just one child here in the safety and prosperity of Australia.

However, after much thinking, reading and talking, I’m completely of the belief that EVERY child’s pain is worthy of our attention, empathy or grief, no matter how privileged their life has previously been and whether or not we know them.  If we cannot mourn an individual child who has died unnecessarily, I don’t think it’s possible for us to possess the compassion essential to both mourn or help a whole community or country of children in distress.

As such, my heart aches for the little boy - Elliott Fletcher - who had his life stolen on Monday, at school, by an older student wielding a knife.  I have shed tears for his parents and cannot even begin to fathom the immense shock and agony they must feel after sending their only child off to school on Monday, to be called a few scant hours later and told he was dead.  Their only child - from the photos, a sweet looking boy, standing with his smiling dad, a football in his arms.

Elliott attended school in a suburb of Brisbane that we love - Shorncliffe.  We have walked past his school many times - and admired it, it’s a lovely school with a friendly reputation.  Our friend Peter has always enjoyed his visits there for sport and chess.  We have picnicked in the nearby park, played in the marvellous playground, and paddled in the ocean that Elliot could see from his classrooms.  It is a beautiful, peaceful and family oriented part of the world and I’m horrified that Elliot faced such mindless violence there on Monday, in his school bathroom.

I also feel sad for the accused and his family.  My goodness, what a burden to carry with you for the rest of your life.

What do we do?  How do we respond to such sadness?  Talk to our older children about it.  Remind them of the love we have for them.  Assure them that they can always talk with us about anything that worries them.  These options, whilst good and necessary, seem obvious.

Encourage our children to take love, compassion and tolerance with them each day when they leave the home.  Give them opportunities to learn that every action has a consequence that then becomes part of them and who they are.  Expose them, gently, to the suffering of others and the terrible consequences of hate, intolerance and fear.  And hope that they will grow into compassionate, loving and sensible adults.

It’s very tempting to rail against society and demand that it be fixed!  Our society must be broken for this to happen and someone else must fix it!  I don’t think it’s as simple as that.  One principal has pointed out that children - especially school aged boys - have, throughout time, been fascinated by the power possessed by the weapons of adults and that sometimes these weapons find their way to school, in the hands of a child keen or desperate to absorb or revell in this power.

Perhaps then, it starts with one.  At the risk of sounding twee, I cannot save the world.  But I can start here in my home, with my family and friends, in my neighbourhood.  Just as is encouraged by the Dalai Lama, we must remember that every sentient being desires love and happiness.  To meet this need, we must live a life of love and compassion rather than attempt to “teach” others what they must do. ‘Cause simply telling people what is right and wrong clearly doesn’t always work.

Oh dear Elliott and those who love him, you are in my thoughts and prayers.