mothering * making * missing
Solo mothering this weekend. Well, for the next two weeks! Julian is away again – the Middle East, Dublin and London – and Abby and I are here pottering away. It is SOOOOO quiet without him. Not that he’s at all loud or engaged in loud and intrusive pursuits. I think it’s the sheer lack of his physicality that makes it quiet. We live in a smallish old house in which, when the three of us are here, you can feel the fullness (in fact, when we have visitors, the rooms just seem to fill up to the brim – not that I’m complaining – just saying :-). I think it’s that which I miss when Julian’s not here. The fullness of family, the pleasure and reassurance of having him here by my side.
Anyways, Abby and I – whilst missing him – have had a lovely time nonetheless. Yesterday, there was an unexpected shopping trip to Hawkesburn – more amazing upholstery fabric samples and a dear little toy shop that morphed into a homewares store the deeper we ventured – lunch together at Buddha’s Belly in Windsor, a long and satisfying browse at JB’s, a couple of hours – each in our own space – listening to our newly bought-newly discovered music (oh you would laugh if I told you who I *discovered* yesterday), then an evening of Danny Katz read out loud, including our all time faves, and laughing until we were hiccuping (choking) with giggles and tears (we’re your biggest fans Mr. Katz!), a movie and stitching. Good stuff!
Today – rain and sun and rain and sun and finally sun, sun, sun. Which equalled washing, washing, washing. And more stitching. Side by side, a mother and her girlchild, content to chatter and giggle the day away. Abby, drawing and stitching clothes for her doll. Me, putting patches together for my shopping trolley.
And I found something this afternoon that made me realise just how quickly the last fifteen years have slipped by – my garnet ring. My dear Aunty Mary gave it to me for my 21st birthday – we bought it together at a lovely little antique store in Vancouver – I was visiting. I wore it everyday for the next 6 years. Then, in those last weeks of pregnancy, I was afraid my fingers would swell in the Brisbane heat and the ring would become stuck. So off it came. I remember looking at it when Abby was a few weeks old and deciding that it was too sticky-out and spiky to wear whilst holding a wee, fragile babe close so I put it away. And then, this afternoon, whilst hunting for a missing earring and listening to said babe, now a lanky and opinionated teenager, berate me for losing the earring in the first place, there it was, my garnet ring. Just 2 weeks shy of fifteen years later. Almost to the day I last took it off. I slid it back on – the sensation both poignant and delightful.
It’s almost a sign – of the Sleepless in Seattle variety :-) – here we are, Abby and I, muddling along together – making, reading, listening to music, doing homework, studying for exams, preparing for her upcoming birthday party and those end of year teacher presents – and now she’s so much bigger and more resilient.
It’s safe to put it back on – I don’t think a sweet garnet ring can do her any harm now.