oh
2012
sometimes parenting is like that, isn’t it. today was certainly was of those days when I look at my daughter, listen to her words, and whilst I’m doing my best to remain a calm, supportive and loving mama, inside I’m chanting, “it is what it is … it is what it is … “
Julian reminds me – this is what parenting a teenager is like. The funniest thing is – I spent almost twenty years looking after other people’s teenagers in a girls’ boarding school. I listened to sensational stories that curled my toes, dealt with teenage angst that made me want to spit my teeth out (a really cool phrase one of the boarder parents taught me!) and narrowed my eyes as I wondered what to do next.
I might add, I also had hundreds of truly magical moments and I think fondly of countless girls every day and am grateful for the contribution they made to my life.
However, as much as I naively hoped to the contrary when Abby was little and I was learning so much about teenagers, today was one of those days when it doesn’t feel like ANY of it prepared me for parenting my own teenager.
Oh yes, it is what it is. And sometimes it can only be taken one day at a time, as gracefully as possible, with the constant reminder in the back of my mind that, this too will pass. What hurts or worries one day will surely get a little bit better the next.
So today … well, I made my bed, with the pillowcases I sewed yesterday …
… and the little embroidered pillow I’ve been working on for a few weeks … embroidered design from a fabulous French book of patterns that I’m too tired to fish out and name, woollen fabric from the thrift shop for $2, vintage lace from another thrift shop for about the same.
Julian wanted pillowcases that were all softly, softly, and simple. He says he needs the tranquility :-) So we have thick grey corduroy with the softest hint of lavendar for the big “I’m sitting up in bed reading” pillows. And an incredibly fine icy grey corduroy for the sleep-upon-me pillowcases.
And before the rain came down, I stretched and nailed out a needlepoint I finished when Abby was still in kindergarten … it began to drizzle a little before I finished. And yet, it was quite therapeutic.
Now, I’m off to bed with what I hope will be soothing for this tired spirit – some pawpaw gel for my winter-dry lips, and a book whose author was utterly entrancing on the radio the other day. Maybe he knows something about surviving our own teenagers :-)
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It’ll wax and wane you know – remind your self – its good for their spirit to stretch out – test the waters –
My 17 year old (this week!) still moves from being next to me at ALL times, to being independent and peer driven.
Still, its hard work sometimes – I really think teens are a bit like toddlers dipping their toes into the world and then back to Mum’s skirts! (and , if my 18 year old is any indication, keeping me up half the night!!)
All good, healthy normal stuff x
Mine has promised not to turn into, as she calls it, a “rotten teenager.” Uh-huh. A promise she may not realize she probably can’t keep. I’ll live in hope in the meantime, fingers crossed, eyes scrunched shut, holding my breath. Growing is not always gentle. All the best to you all!
oh indeed. I would not go through my teen years again for anything you could offer me. Hard on the teen, hard on the parent. You are lucky you have that past work experience but it’s different with your own child. You and your girl are so close, it has to be hard with you have a day where things aren’t as good.
Hang in there–your pillows are lovely. I need to make some like that for my bed!
A big hug to you and your girl. This too will pass!
Just what Alayne said. “This to shall pass”
Blessings Gail
p.s. love the needlepoint.
That bed looks so inviting…and I love the pillows. I’m just entering this stage of life (or at least miss 11 is). She is but a babe in a teenagers body and times can be so tough. Thanks for the honesty, I feel somewhat better knowing that even your gorgeous girl can have her days (sorry!!!). Here’s hoping today has been a day full of light and laughter. xxx
Yes teenagers will “try it on” just like a 2 year old, stick to your your way of parenting and let her know that just because she is a big girl and growing up, you still have the same expectations of attitude and behaviour.
I LOVE your beautiful sunny yellow quilt, what a wonderful way to brighten up a dull Winter, I am sure it puts a smile on your face every time you walk by, just thinking about all the wonderful warm sunny days with family.