posted by Lily on knitting

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It’s addictive.  Oh my goodness, is it addictive.  I thought needlework was – “just let me finish this thread” – but knitting leaves it in the pale.  ”Just let me finish this ball!”

It causes numb bottoms and stiff hips.  Because I sit, and sit, and sit, in a meditation like state, for hours.  A calmness descends over me, everything becomes simple and rosy.  Stress – what’s that!  But my bottom is numb and my hips are stiff.

It makes me late for school.  ”MUM!  It’s 7.45am – you are still in your nightie, we haven’t had breakfast and I have no uniform or lunch!  MUM! PUT DOWN THE KNITTING!”

There’s no housework happening.  Is this the fault of knitting?  Weeellll … probably.    This is driving other members of the household a little batty.  

I watch hours of late night television – it’s that “Just let me finish this ball” mentality.

 

Mind you, this has led to my rediscovery of the truly gorgeous John Waters.  Last I saw him, he was setting my teenage heart aflutter as the captain of a paddle steamer in the wonderful mini-series “All the Rivers Run”.   I have vague memories of him in the ABC series “Rush” but I was too young to appreciate him fully.  Before that, he was my daily entertainment on “PlaySchool”, singing with Jemima the rag doll, reading picture books, building wonderful cubbies, and producing art from nothing. 

Now – thanks to knitting, I know that John has replaced his folksy 1970s brown beard with a sexy-as, silver-grey, short-all-over haircut, added a silver hoop to one ear, gets about looking very fetching in fitted white paramedic’s overalls and has abandoned public television children’s programming for commercial hospital melodrama. Excellent!  Could my evening life of knitting get any better.

Ahhhh knitting.  It is deceptively mischevious.  

p.s. if you would like to make your own version of this scarf, buy 5, 50g balls of 12 ply (I’ve used Paton’s Jet, Colour 8, 70% wool, 30% mohair), and find a pair of 6mm needles.  Cast on 29 stitches.  

The All-Saints, Late-for-School, Numb-Bottom, but Highly Relaxing Scarf 

by Lily Boot

Row 1 – Knit 1, Purl 1, repeat to end, finishing with a Knit 1.

Row 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 – as above.  This forms the seed stitch border.

Row 7 – Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1, (This forms the seed stitch edge/border) Purl 3, Knit 5, Purl 3, Knit 5, Purl 3, Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1.

Row 8 - Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1, Knit 3, Purl 5, Knit 3, Purl 5, Knit 3, Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1.

Row 9 – Repeat row 7

Row 10 – Repeat row 8

Row 11 – Repeat row 7

Row 12 – Repeat row 8

Rows 7 – 12 form Pattern 1

Row 13 - Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1, Knit 3, Purl 5, Knit 3, Purl 5, Knit 3, Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1.

Row 14 - Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1, Purl 3, Knit 5, Purl 3, Knit 5, Purl 3, Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1, Purl 1, Knit 1.

Row 15 – Repeat row 13

Row 16 – Repeat row 14

Row 17 – Repeat row 13

Row 18 – Repeat row 14

Rows 13 – 18 form Pattern 2.

Now, repeat Pattern 1, then Pattern 2.  Keep alternating until scarf is desired length.

Finish by repeating rows 1 – 6 (seed stitch border).

If you notice any glaring (or secretive!) errors in my hastily written instructions, please don’t hesitate to email me!  

Hope you enjoy knitting this simple scarf as much as I am.  I’d love you to send me a photo of it, and of course, let me know what unhealthy, commercial television melodramas you are indulging in whilst knitting :-)